You can start over. If you wake up one morning, and you realize that you are as far as you could possibly be from a life that makes you happy, you can start over. Don’t hate yourself because you got lost. Don’t blame yourself for being an adult and not having every answer or every milestone met. Just give yourself a little love, and look at where you are. Then look at where you want to be. There is a path that connects the dots between the two, I promise.
Everything is a beautiful mess right now. I am not where I want to be, and my life is nothing like I imagined it would be. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. The thing is, it’s not my weight. It is the weight of the expectations of people I let get to me, about my life. I felt heavy because I haven’t met the milestones that others had mapped out for me, and for the first time, I feel at peace realizing that. I feel at peace because I know that all of those goals that I was racing to meet, breaking my fingernails while I clawed at the life others wanted me to have, don’t matter to me. I can let go. I can get rid of these possessions everyone thought I needed. I can live the life I want to live. I am not upset that I did not get a Bachelor’s degree in Business, and a Master’s in marketing. I am not upset that owning a home wasn’t for me. I am not upset. I am weeding through the mess, and picking out what I want and need.
I came to the realization recently that the most important goal I have, the only thing I feel obligated to achieve, is to make sure that my kids know that I love them and that I am here for them every single day of their lives. That, I can do. In the process, I want to show them the world, and teach them to be kind. I want to teach them that they can chase whatever dreams they want, even if other people do not understand their choices.
My kids are full of creativity, like myself, and they are being persuaded to let go of their talent, because it is not safe or lucrative in the eyes of others. The thing is, I have spent so much time trying to be successful at someone else’s dream life, and I have failed. I have failed miserably. Maybe I landed a good job, and bought a house. But I did not excel at it. I am not happy in it. While trying to make it all fit together piece by piece, I have made myself miserable in the process. I was actually losing pieces of myself, because I was ignoring them! My heart is somewhere else, and I finally know that. Someone else’s version of success, does not have to be your own. Be successful in your own heart, and you will be happy.
I hope that my “babies”, as well as my readers, will forget the opinions of others. Find the talent that lives inside of you, and go with it. Go with your heart, and follow your gut. Do not be afraid to take that leap of faith. Because you know what? If it doesn’t work out, something else will. At the end of the day, at least you can say you tried, and you suited up. Maybe your dreams won’t work out, but taking the step toward them, will lead you to the next step that takes you closer to what will work out.
So now I must decide what I want to do, and take the ever terrifying leap. I have to make a plan to leave my current job. It won’t be today, or even this month, probably not even this year. Just because you know you want to make a change, doesn’t mean you have to do it blindly. You can plan ahead, and change your life without creating chaos. Just make sure you go through with it. Don’t think about it, come up with a great plan, just to chicken out. Great plans were meant to be followed. So go for it!
What does this have to do with travel, and why is it in my blog? Well, remember how I mentioned that there will be a little “therapy” mixed in? Here it is, now get up off the couch and take a flying leap….into your dreams! 😉 Ok, I also shared it because my dreams are to make a career out of traveling and writing this blog, so I am planning my own big jump. Just packing my parachute at the moment…stay tuned!